Personal Essay - Final Draft

At the age of 23 life as I new it changed forever. My life took a turn that I would never have predicted. My mother passed away on June 27, 1993. My father passed away on August 24, 1993. Within 2 months I lost the most important people in my life. I was a single girl living with my parents expecting them to be there for me forever. In the blink of an eye my security had vanished and I had to grow up and be responsible for myself. Something I was not quite equipped to do at the time, but learned quickly.

It was very difficult to get my act together after the death of my parents I became very bitter with God. I wondered what did I do to deserve to lose both my parents. Bitter turned into anger and anger turned to sadness. Sadness lingered on for 13 years.

The age of 36 was a turning point in my life, that’s the age that I began to live again. Prior to 36 I was going through the motions of living but I wasn’t living at all. I went numb inside for many years. I forgot how to love, forgot how to live. I lost all passion for life. Sure life was bearable I had a rewarding job a loving husband. I was traveling often to beautiful and exotic places. But I was not truly enjoying the experience. I was living a great life if you were witnessing my experiences as an outsider. If only you could see the black cloud in my heart. I was a good actress, everyone thought life was good for Margaret. But little did anyone know that I was just going through the motions but feeling empty. Void of any emotion. Often wondering what is my purpose in life. Where did that happy person drift too? The laughter seemed to go away the happiness disappeared. Where did that girl who enjoyed being with friends and family having fun disappear to? She no longer existed. That girl had been gone for about 13 years.


At 36 my old self was beginning to emerge. I started to live again. The smile that was missing from my face reappeared. Why was 36 such a pivotal time in my life. What happened at the age of 36 was I gave birth to a beautiful baby girl 6 pounds 5 ounces 19 inches long. She has big beautiful blue eyes. The smoothest baby skin I had every felt. I believe she was a gift from God. An angel sent to help me begin living again. The moment my baby girl was placed in my arms was the moment I felt the black cloud that was ever so present in my heart begin to lessen. I was experiencing feeling’s that had been absent in my life for quite some time.

Let me tell you about Morgan my daughter, she is four years old and the love of my life. She is the happiest child I have ever met, she loves to play, laugh and likes to give you hugs and kisses, she is a loving child with a wonderful sense of humor. Morgan has so much energy that some times its hard to keep up with her and at the end of the day I am exhausted. I wouldn’t give up having her in my life for anything in the world. I have loved every stage of my daughter’s life. When she was a newborn I loved to hold her in my arms and provide her with all the love and care taking that she needed. I will never forget the first time I heard her say mommy tears came to my eyes. At the age of one she began to walk. I was amazed how this little child could just one day stand up and walk. She continues to amaze me on a daily basis. Now my baby girl is four years old. What I love about this age is that mommy can do no wrong. In my daughters eyes I am the most amazing and intelligent person in her life. She loves me unconditionally and that feels good. Morgan will be attending preschool in September. Where does the time go?

I realize that I am a very blessed person; I have a wonderful husband an amazing daughter, great friends and family. I do love life and enjoy living. Everyone has tragedies, heartaches and battles in their lives and I hope that everyone can work through them and begin living, laughing and loving again. Having my baby girl in my life made me realize that there was more living that I needed to do and there were people in my life that still needed me to live. I will never forget my mother and father; I miss them terribly each and every day. I know that I need to live and live happy. I no longer have the black cloud in my heart.